Dwight: I'm a decent baiter. My cousin Mose, that's a master baiter.

Oscar: Don't you wanna see the baby?
Dwight: Why? I know what Angela and the Senator look like. I can mash that up in my head right now.

Dwight: Have you ever tried to use a chain with three weak links? I have, and now I no longer own an arctic wolf. 

Jim (to Dwight): Do you shower at night? Or do you shower in the morning? 'Cause I wanna shower when you're showering...save some water.

Nate: Oh Darryl. I'm glad to be in your life too. Your card is more beautiful than the gloves.

Erin: I'm going to Florida...and I'm not coming back.

Ryan: What were the criteria for going?
Dwight: It might be innate goodness versus innate badness.

Kevin: I do deserve a vacation. Sometimes Batman's gotta take off his cape.

Dwight: He remembers Toby, the most forgettable man in the known world.

Stanley: My wife got to the tv first. I had to sit through damn Rizzoli and damn Isles.