Dwight: Those who can't farm, farm celery. 

Nellie: That is disgusting. Do you call that a King James Breakfast Pie?

Pam (to Nellie): I think you're a witch.

Jim: Can't you do something about this?
Robert: Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves, Jim.

Jim: The raise isn't real.
Dwight: Money isn't real ever since we got off the gold standard.

Dwight: The fact that she could show her face around here is an embarrassment. I should know, I'm in an identical situation.

Robert: The Sabre Store would work if we adopted the carnival model of leaving town once everyone's wise to us.

Kevin: I wanna be wined, and dined.

Dwight: All I had to do was think about pie and my salivary glands did the rest.

Jim: Why is there so much saliva?