Creed: Jinx, buy me some coke. 

Dwight: Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity.

Kevin: You think this is a great party? This cake has vegetables in it.

Ryan: Hey that's not a code name that's just an insult.
Oscar: Plus, everyone would know who you meant.
Ryan: Yeah.

Nellie (to Stanley): Excuse me, the tone here is getting quite hostile. I would appreciate it if you would keep that stuff on the basketball court.

Erin: I'm really tired...probably from seeing that turkey.

Dwight: I wonder if king size sheets are called presidential sized in England....I really should have a tweeter account.

Nellie: I see you've discovered Benjamin. That's what I call my box for the photos of Henry.

Dwight: What did you do?
Kelly: Stop yelling at me!
Dwight: What did you do?
Kelly: I didn't do anything!
Dwight: What did you learn in there? I bet you learned things, huh? Like how to fashion a shiv, hmm?
Jim: Hey! What the hell's goin' on?
Dwight: Why don't you tell Jim where you were from ages 14 to 15.
Kelly: I was kickin' it.
Dwight: In juvie.
Jim: What?
Dwight: Juvie... nile... Detention Center. Where they send teenagers!

Michael: I have dibs. Do you respect dibs?
Dwight: (scoffs) I'm not a barbarian.