Oscar: This guy's been gone long enough. He's lost his right to a window.

Pam Halpert: I used to be young and cute and sort of funny and, I could do those cute little cartoons and everyone who came through here was like, "who's that receptionist? I like her." Now I'm just a fat mom! Yeah. And you take one look at me and you're like, loser!
Andy: Come here, Pam. Chins up ok? [snorts] Bad joke.

Darryl: Yeah I wanted the manager job but I got something, much better. This soda. This is mine.

Dwight Schrute: Here's how I'm going to help out from now on: I'm going to not care, and I'm going to sit around quietly waiting for Andy's inevitable demise.

Robert California: Jim your daughter Cecilia, what does she think of the Street?
Jim Halpert: Uh... the street?
Robert California: Sesame Street.
Jim Halpert: Oh! I didn't know anybody called it--she likes it a lot. She loves Elmo.
Robert California: Elmo. God save us... the Elmo era. Sesame Street was created to reflect the environment of the children watching it. The complete self-absorption of Elmo is brilliantly reflective of our time. Our's is a cultural ghetto. Wouldn't you agree?
Jim Halpert: Yeah... she does like Elmo.
Oscar: Cultural ghetto... Totally agree.
Phyllis: Completely.
Darryl: Apt. Apt analysis, Robert.

Dwight Schrute: This week we are rolling out the brand new Sabre tablet, the Pyramid.
Phyllis: Why is it shaped like that?
Dwight Schrute: So you can tell your clients, "Unleash the power of the Pyramid!"
Pam Beesly: It's huge! How much does it weigh?
Dwight Schrute: Oh, no no no, without the battery pack and the optional memory booster, it's barely three pounds.
Ryan Howard: How much memory does it have without the booster?
Dwight Schrute: 50L.
Ryan Howard: I'm sorry, "L"?
Jim Halpert: How much L to a K?
Dwight Schrute: You are really going to want the booster.
Stanley: How the heck are we supposed to sell--
Jim Halpert: --I'll take five.
Phyllis: Andy, don't make us sell this stupid thing.

Kevin: Good old Kevin. He'll do anything. Well guess what? I will not do a good job.

Andy: The Friday before Columbus Day. Thoughts?
Robert California: What are your thoughts?
Andy: Just making chit chat... Kind of a medium year for women's soccer, no?

Andy: We're losing cloud cover.
Kelly: Oh don't try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.
Darryl: Hey, hey...Vick did his time.

Andy: [Looking at tattoo] It's a Nard Dog! That's my nickety-name!