Meredith: What are you smiling for? You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Andy: I'm sure I am not. Let's get you home.

[Erin approaches the bar, drunk]
Erin: I would like another alcohol.

[walking into Dwight's first gym]
Dwight Schrute: Ready? What do you think? Huh?
Darryl: Uh. No. This is not a gym. This is like a scene out of Saw 5.

Andy: Gam Gam's name is Ruth. Jim you should know. I introduced you that one time, on speaker phone.

[Darryl is doing bench presses]
Dwight Schrute:You're nothing! You are so weak! You call yourself a man! Huh?
Darryl:This doesn't help me, I don't respond to that kind of strategy.
Dwight Schrute:Ok fine. Finish your set on your own and never come back to my gym again.
[walks away]
Darryl:[starts struggling with the bar] Dwight come back and spot me.
Dwight Schrute:Alright. I'll help you. But first, you gotta tell me what your goal is. What do you want?
Darryl:To push this bar up.
Dwight Schrute:No! Because if that was the case the bar would be up by now. What is your goal?
Darryl:Help me!
Dwight Schrute:WHAT DO YOU WANT!
Darryl:To look good! For Val.
Dwight Schrute:Val Kilmer? I don't buy it! That doesn't make any sense!
[Darryl finishes lifting the bar]
Dwight Schrute:Wow. We figured out your goal. I am gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.

Andy: Hey! Have you had anything else to eat besides candy canes?
Erin: Every martini has an olive.
Andy: Ok. Maybe I should make you some oatmeal or something.
Kevin: I don't wanna put you out. But if someone's making oatmeal I'll take an apple cinnamon and a maple brown sugar in one bowl, with whole milk.

Dwight: I am always acting in self-defense...occasionally preemptive self-defense.

Nate: I thought it was because they're all so rich, they could eat popsicles all the time.

Gabe: Fun fact: in France they call Limitless "The Man With Many Capabilities."

Erin: Kelly.
Kelly: Yea?
Erin: Game on.
Kelly: On it.
[Kelly immediately goes into mode and walks over to where Andy's girlfriend and a group are laughing]
Kelly: Jessica did you just fart? 
[everyone goes silent]
[cut to talking head]
Kelly: And that is how it's done.